Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Knit & Fight the Black Dog

This is one of the most difficult posts i think i will ever make but i am at a place and a time where i am ready to talk about it.

Some of you who are closer to me may already know that i have a history of depression, i don't keep is a secret, i just don't use it as a conversation starter :)

About 6 months ago things in my life started to go really down hill, i couldn't sleep but i was exhausted, i couldn't concerntrate on anything for more than 10 minutes at a time, i was very short tempered with my kids and i was worse with my husband, Glenn. I would cry over spilt milk - a dark blanket began to envelope me, it was black and it was heavy and i was lost and i thought it would be better off if it was over.

Always a keen knitting blog surfer, i found a blog by the delightful Meg where she speaks openly and honestly about her battle with depression, i saw alot of myself in what she wrote and i loved her tag "knit and fight the black dog" it hit a cord with me - the only things i could concerntrate on were my knitting and spinning they truly saved me. Another things that helped me was Ravelry and the amazing women i am friends with particulary the Aussie MCN Mummies Group even tho i didn't discuss my problems with them, their constant chatter and support was wonderful, i could always drop in and have a giggle.

Another person that i have shared this time with and i am sure she won't mind me saying is Courtney, she has been my touchstone anytime i am down we netchat and i feel so much better.
I love you Courts xxx

So about 6 weeks ago i spoke to a GP and we started a course of Anti-depressants after 2 weeks of feeling nauseous, tired and having the shakes things physically got better, and in the last 2 weeks things are getting better in every corner of my life. I now have a routine this has help me amazingly to achieve the things i set out to do each day.

I will write more as i feel the need and when the time feels right to discuss things deeper.

Thank You for reading and most of all for understanding.


Bec said...

HUGE Hugs to you ;-) I hope that things keep improving and that the blanket continues to lift for you.

lillismum said...

Thanks Bec

Christine said...

Big hugs Lisa. I can only imagine how difficult it has been for you & so glad that you have had the courage to do something about it. Just remember that you have a lot of friends out here wishing you well :) Look after yourself.

Jack said...

I hear you.

Vicki said...

good on you for doing something about it. I know exactly how you feel, I have been there too and having your own crafty things does help tremendously (I wasn't doing much knitting back then). I have been on my antidepressants for 5 years, it took 6 months to find the right one and for things to start to balance out.

knitting sprouts said...

I know exactly how you feel - and you describe it so well. It is an incredibly frustrating experience because you just want to feel better. Knitting and making things helps me tremendously.